The Weekly Post

What a weekend! The weather all of sudden turned from summer to winter without warning and my entire fall collection of clothing went to waste. I hate you global warming. All those swanky sweaters and fall jackets that I have mean nothing now. Anyway, here's the recap.

Fox Baseball Announcers need to stop being shitty.

Seriously, these guys are the worst. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are an exercise in complete nonsense. Buck uses the same drawn out dramatic tone and phrases regardless of the situation. Down by 5 and have a man on first with 2 outs in the 7th inning? Apparently that's "making noise". I really hate that guy. He offers nothing in terms of stats and expresses his worthless opinion excessively for a play by play guy.

McCarver isn't alive. I'm pretty sure that there is some Weekend at Bernie's shit going on at Fox with McCarver. He makes no sense when he talks and the stats on the screen clearly have contradicted him like 6 times. When the Phillies hit back to back shots in game 4, he said that nobody had ever done that before. About 5 minutes earlier the stats on the screen had indicated that this had happened twice in World Series history. What a fucking crackpot.

BJ Upton is a Gamebreaker.

Upton has singlehandedly kept the Rays in games during the Series. On Saturday his speed caused the Phillies all sorts of trouble. Hell, the guy got picked off at first by a lefty and STILL made it to second safetly. Then during the rain game, which is still being played, he got onto first and stole second with absolutely no footing on the drenched dirt. And he did this Hamels, another lefty! He then rounded third on a Pena single and scored from second on wet ground. He has single handedly kept the Rays alive. Impressive Upton, impressive.

The Browns are Good Again.

Get used to this manic depressive behavior. It will last all season. They'll suck again soon, I promise you that.

Van Gogh's Early Landscapes are Awesome.

I had the chance to go to the Museum of Modern Art in New York this weekend after a long absence from the place. They had an extensive Van Gogh exhibit displayed which focused on his evolution as an artist using mainly his landscape works. Of course, there were some famous pieces in there such as The Potato Eaters, The Night Cafe, and Gaugin's Chair in there, but mostly it was landcapes. His earlier works didn't contain the think brushstrokes and vivid colors that people usually associate with Van Gogh. However, they were more earthy and haunting. It was very cool to see paintings I've never seen by the artist that I could see only by going to Utrecht, Amsterdam, or some other obsure town in Holland that has a Van Gogh museum.

I apologize for infusing you with a modicum of culture.

McCain is Desperate.

No, this isn't based on his ridiculous assertion that Obama is socialist. Nor the fact that his own campaign is calling Palin a whackjob (yes, they used this exact langauge). I've derived this conclusion based on the statement that John McCain made asserting that "If I were president, no infomercial would delay the World Series!" Seriously McCain? Are you promising soda in the vending machines during school hours too? Maybe some free candy during lunch? Extended recess?

Obviously the delay in the World Series is more important than the credit crisis, global financial meltdown, lack of healthcare, and a deteriorating educational system that all plague this country. How dare the World Series be delayed because Fox was paid $3 million dollars for it?

Thats not right! It's not John, it's called free market capitalism. If you understood how that worked, maybe you/us wouldn't be in this clusterfuck right now.

World Series Prediction and What I Learned This Weekend

World Series Prediction

Surprise, surprise. I was right on with my playoff predictions. It took the Rays an extra game to kill off the Red Sox, but perhaps it was my hubris that told me they'd take it in six. Garza was dominant last night and only let up 1 run to the Manny-less Sox lineup for about 7 innings. Then Price pitched out of a hell of a jam in the 8th and the Rays are your new American League Champions.

They'll have their hands full with the Phillies though. The Phils are definitely the best team in the National League. They have great bullpen that doesn't lose a lead heading into the later innings. They get along better as a team and play better as a result (ahem, Cubs). What is surprising, and scary, is that they got to the Series with very little production from Ryan Howard. He's a streaky hitter and he's due at some point to go nuts. I'm sure the World Series provides a little motivation for players to give it their best. Watch out for Ryan Howard. Obviously Chase Utley and James Rollins will bring it every night.

The Rays have offensive punch too. BJ Upton and Evan Longoria have been dropping bombs this entire fall. Pena, Crawford, and Baldelli have been doing their part too. The best aspect of the Rays offense, though, is its speed. They have Upton, Crawford, Bartlett, and Iwamura who can steal bases at any point in the game. They were virtually unstoppable in the ALCS. Its also a defensive advantage too.

I think the make or break here is the starting rotation. The Rays are just deeper than the Phillies. The Phils have the only true ace in this series with Cole Hamels. But the rest of the rotation looks pretty shaky. Jamie Moyer got tagged up pretty badly in both of his starts and Joe Blanton is hit or miss. Whereas Sheilds, Sonnanstine, Kazmir, and Garza have been more than solid all postseason. As a staff, the Rays only gave up 5 runs or more once during the course of the postseason. I think pitching will be the difference here. Plus the DH advantage always goes to the AL team.

This is one rare championship series where I wish both teams could win because the Phillies are very good and I like their players. But the Rays are like children to me at this point, so after much contemplation (5 minutes):

Prediction: Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays in 6

What I Learned This Weekend:

The Browns are Atrocious

Yeah, last weekend I added the caveat that I wouldn't make my final judgment on the Browns until the Redskins game. Well they shit the bed. Why go for two 30 yard bombs when you could have simply went short and made the tying field goal a little easier for your kicker? The coaching staff needs to really take the blame here. They had an enthusiastic team coming off a big win and they allowed the letdown game to happen. That is unacceptable. You have to ride that high into the next game and the next game's preparation. It seems like Romeo just gave the guys the week off! Another aspect of the coaching disaster is poor clock management. Romeo again failed to use timeouts ineffectively to move the ball into field goal range; resulting in a 52 yard attempt for the tie. Ridiculous. Someone UNLEASH THE FUCKING OFFENSE FOR THE SAKE OF MY MENTAL HEALTH!

I can't write anymore about this or I will kill someone.

The Bills Might Win the AFC

I didn't watch this game (and I probably couldn't have if I lived in Buffalo) but the linescore tells me something. These guys can win games and do so in definitive fashion. It looks like Trent Edwards is recovering fine after getting knocked the fuck out a couple of weeks ago. Marshawn, Lee Evans, and the rest of the Buffalo offense seems to be in synch. This is good news especially considering the impact concussions have had on quarterbacks in the past.

The only things that stand in the way of Buffalo and Super Bowl berth are the Steelers and the Titans. The Titans are of the 2000 Ravens and 2002 Bucs mold. They have an a very solid defense and somehow score points with a washed up quarterback to win games. Its pretty impressive. The Steelers, I still consider a flawed team. Roethlisberger might not be alive at the end of the season and their defense is beatable this season. Their corners are doing well and their pass rush is coming around, but I still don't see them being as dominant as Steelers teams of the past.

The Bills have the most well rounded teams of the contenders. Good solid defense and can move the ball either on the ground or through the air. This is HUGE considering the fact that they play in Buffalo and snow season is just around the corner up there. I like the Bills in the East and they may even make me pick them for the AFC in general. With the Browns tanking their season with terrible coaching and staph infections, all I have to say is Lets Go Buffalo.

Fuck the Red Sox.

I think this one is self explanatory. I hate "Red Sox Nation". Long live Rays Republic until the beat the Indians in heartbreaking fashion at some point. But until then...Go Rays.

How it began...

Twenty years ago when I was a precious seven year old in 1988 I got to stay up way past my bedtime. I sat with my Great Uncle Ted and watched the Los Angeles Dodgers play the Oakland A's in the first game of the World Series. My ginger younger brother had long since fallen asleep dreaming of having a soul like the rest of us, but I sat transfixed by the game.

My Great Uncle Ted was a World War II veteran. The kind of man that wore veteran trucker hats in 1988 way before Ashton Kutcher tried to make them cool. He was rooting for the Dodgers so naturally I was rooting for the Dodgers. It did not look good heading into the bottom of the ninth inning. I don't really think I understood the gravity of the Dodgers situation. Only when I was older, and had bought the official 1988 VHS World Series Game One Tape did I truly understand how stunning, unbelievable, and unique the events that were about to transpire would be in the history of baseball.

Two outs in the bottom of the ninth. 4-3 the A's are on top. Dennis Eckersley is on the mound. The pre-eminent closer of the day, and a future hall of famer. When Kirk Gibson came to the plate I remember my Great Uncle Ted saying that he was the Dodgers' best player, but was hurt. I then heard the legendary tale told by Vin Scully, undoubtedly not truly understanding, but hearing it:

"All year long, he answered the demands, until he was physically unable to start tonight——with two bad legs: The bad left hamstring, and the swollen right knee. And, with two out, you talk about a roll of the dice... this is it.”

During the agonizingly long at bat, in which Gibson worked the 0-2 count to full after fouling off numerous pitches, Scully noted Gibson was:

"Shaking his left leg, making it quiver, like a horse trying to get rid of a troublesome fly.”

And then a crappy slider by Eckerlsey and...

“High fly ball into right field, she i-i-i-is... gone!!"

I still get goosebumps when I hear this...

"In a year that has been so improbable... the impossible has happened!”

In the aftermath:

“You know, I said it once before, a few days ago, that Kirk Gibson was not the Most Valuable
Player; that the Most Valuable Player for the Dodgers was Tinkerbell. But, tonight, I think Tinkerbell backed off for Kirk Gibson. And, look at Eckerlsley——shocked to his toes!”

At seven, I knew Tinkerbell as the magical fairy from Peter Pan. And at seven, though not understanding the magnitude or improbability of what I just saw I had a feeling that I saw something magical. Later, I realized that what I had just seen was the magic that transcends sports from simple games to shared moments that bond families and forge friendships.

Magic moments have surely followed in my sports watching lifetime. Sadly far too many being of the shared misery type of voodoo hexed upon Buffalo teams. But in that moment, 20 long long years ago today, I experienced sports ecstasy with my Great Uncle Ted. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Go Dodgers.

What I Learned This Weekend: Columbus Day

First off, Columbus was an asshole who landed on Hispaniola, not the present day United States. He also enslaved all the people there and led to the eventual exploitation of this land and destruction of its native people. That's for you philistines who believe he discovered America or some shit. Enough of my liberal revisionist propaganda, on with what I learned.

The NFC East is Overrated.

Yeah, I said it. The NFC East, which was touted only a week ago as the best conference in the NFL, is overrated. Now, this isn't based solely on the fact that the Browns beat the Giants last night. It is based on my independent review of the first quarter of the season. Sure B-Rad's opinion is the one that actually matters, but remember, I picked the (Devil) Rays to win the east!

Anyway, where to start? The Giants. The Giants were a big 4 - 0verrated so far. Ok, they had a point differential of +74 or something ridiculous to start the season. But then again, they played 4 teams that had a combined record of 6-16 coming into this week. Now, that point differential is pretty impressive, but considering the opposition it really means nothing. The Giants BARELY beat the Bengals! They needed overtime to beat the winless Bengals! The other wins came over the Seahawks, Rams, and Redskins (when the Redskins were shitty).

The Cowboys also had a sort of gilded success. They dominated the Browns on opening day and beat the Packers, Bengals, and Eagles. The only problem with those latter wins was that they gave up a ton of yardage to each of those offenses. The Cowboys were prone to get into shootouts and their defense looks like it might not be able to handle the higher octane offenses of the league. Now with Romo out for about a month, life is going to get a little more difficult for the boys.

The Eagles and the Redskins are enigmas to me right now. I still don't understand how the Redskins could have looked like total shit in the first week and then come back to be 4-2. They did it by beating the Cowboys, Saints, and Eagles but lost to the Rams. What the hell is going on? The Eagles are the same way. I'm not sold on the NFC East being the best division in football. They are the best in the NFC but they've struggled against AFC opponents.

The Browns are Alright.

This comes with a huge caveat: the Browns are alright if they play the way they did last night for the rest of the season. The offense was finally unleashed and they did some good things. They had a balanced attack and some trick plays there that really kept the Giants defense on its toes. However, the Browns' defense looked mediocre at best. They contained the Giants offense on some big third downs, but some pressure on Eli, and had some huge picks to take momentum away.

However, there aren't going to be many games where the defense is going to get stops with 3 interceptions. And there aren't going to be many wins when you give up 170 yards rushing. However, the pass defense was pretty good. The corners and safties read Eli perfectly and defended some passes well. They were physical with the receivers and didn't let them get any separation.

I'm going to wait until the Redskins game to make my final judgment on any Browns renaissance this season. However, I am encouraged by what I saw last night.

The Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays are Beasts.

The Rays are beasts. That is all I can say after watching them play the Red Sox over the weekend and catching last night's beatdown. BJ Upton and Evan Longoria just hit bombs. The Rays lineup is relentless in its approach to Red Sox pitching. They sat back and took hack at anything Lester put over the plate that they could drive. It was like watching batting practice. In all honesty, it was only a matter of time before the Rays broke out. They had about 10 years of top 10 picks to cultivate into major leaguers. Look at the roster: Kazmir, Garza, Shields, Longoria, Upton, Crawford, and it just keeps going all the way down to the minors. They made some smart deals (like the ones to get Garza and Kazmir) to help them along the way. And all they have to show for it was a 9-1 smackdown of the fucking Red Sox last night. I like it. Keep on truckin', Rays.

Playoff Predictions: LCS Round

Well, that round went well. A respectable 4 f0r 4 lesson in PERFECTION. I mean, maybe I got some of the numbers wrong, but whatever. Its not my fault the Cubs and Angels sucked more than I had anticipated or that the White Sox got one lucky win over the vaunted Rays of Tampa. Anyway, onto the predictions:

Yankees and....oh yeah HAHA! Fuck you New York.

Red Sox and Rays

Wow. Who would have ever thought that the (Devil) Rays would have made it this far into the MLB season? I think you know the answer to that question. The Red Sox took out a formidable Angels team that won about 100 games in the regular season. The series was close and every game was decided by 2 runs or less. The Angels had their chances to oust their nemesis during the course of the series but failed to capitalize on them. Their offense was working, just not at the right times. Their pitching was rendered mediocre by the Red Sox offense which, to be honest, wasn't really hitting on all cylinders. Pedroia might as well have stayed home the way he played at the plate.

The Rays really dominated the White Sox. Yeah, they dropped a game to the Sox in Chicago but won by a margin of 4 runs twice and held the Sox off in the second game of the series. They proved that they could put runs up against a rotation, that in all aspects, is better than Boston's. Their bullpen was lights out in this series and they've been doing it all year. The combination of superior overall pitching and relentless hitting is what's going to get the Rays over the Red Sox. They pitch well, get on base, and drive 'em in. Plus, they don't have to deal with Fenway's awkwardness more than 3 times in this series like the Indians had to last season.

The only argument against the Rays is that they are inexperienced when compared to this Red Sox squad. This iteration of the Sox has a mystique reminiscent of the Yankees dynasty of the late 90s. They're never out of it and they just don't lose. However, baseball is a different game now and I give the edge to the scrappy youth from Tampa.

Prediction: Rays in 6

Dodgers and Phillies

Ah, the NLCS. This is basically the right to play the AL Champ and lose. Sort of like the NFC Championship game for the majority of the decade. The Dodgers are tough to hate. They are a paradox of epic proportions with a star studded lineup and only 84 wins. That is probably due to the fact that their pitching is completely mediocre by normal standards. However, they dominated the Cubs, who have as much firepower as any other team in the NL. The Dodgers also have superior managing than the Phillies. I mean Joe Torre versus Charlie Manuel isn't much of a contest. One is a World Series champ and the other is a glorified cantankerous hitting coach.

The Philles, though, have a massive lineup and great starting pitching. They have what the Dodgers lack, a true ace. Cole Hamels is a buzzsaw. The Dodgers will have to rely on their offense this series, because their pitching might not be able to contain the Phils lineup. However, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard had a terrible series against the Brewers. That being said, Rollins and the top of that lineup still carried them to a 4 game win. So don't underestimate this lineup because of a few bad games, they'll explode at some point

The main argument against the Phillies is that they are a Philadelphia team. And you know what happens to those. They'll lose one game, their fans will overreact, Philly talk radio will go nuts, and the team will collapse under insurmountable local pressure. We've seen it before, and its possible we'll see it again. However, these guys have been in the playoffs and they know how to win when it counts (as evidenced by their repeat embarassment of the Mets).

Prediction: Phillies in 5

I know the number of games has changed since the last entry, but I have to reevaluate the teams based on how they were doing in the ALDS. The entire template of the playoffs remains intact and consistent since then.

100th Post: Postseason Predictions, Divisional Round

Ahhh, October is in the air. The weather is cooling down, football is in full swing, and the baseball playoffs are underway. The only bad thing about this season is that the girls stop wearing skirts in between now and November. However, Halloween slutiness still looms large! Anyway, on to the picks:

Cleveland and....oh yeah...fuck.

Chicago and Los Angeles

This is a tough series to pick. The Cubs have a great advantage in terms of pitching with Dempster, Zambrano, and Harden as opposed to the Dodgers' Lowe...uh...Lowe? To be completely honest I really can't name anyone besides Lowe off the top of my head right now. However, the Dodgers have Manny Ramirez, Jeff Kent, Rafael Furcal, and.....Andruw Jones. Their offense is explosive and Manny is usually an October beast. Couple that with the Cubs having a history of choking in big situations, and there is a Dodger win. Plus we have to consider Joe Torre's management skills and the fact that the Dodgers really have nothing to lose. They have no expectations coming from the shitfest NL West. The Cubs, however, have been media darlings all this year and barely held off the Brewers in their division.

Prediction: Dodgers in 4

Phillies and Brewers:

Wow, this is a tough series. I love the Brewers because they've been so bad for so long and are chock full of young talent. They got CC Sabathia in a midseason deal and he's pretty much carried them on his back to a wild card berth. They would have had a chance to make a deep run if Sheets weren't on the DL. They still have a pretty balanced pitching staff with Solomon Torres at the back end. Their offense is also pretty solid throughout with Prince Fielder, Bill Hall, Corey Hart, and Ryan Braun. However, I don't think they'll be able to match the Phillies in a 5 game series. The Phillies have a better starting rotation with Hamels, Myers, and Moyer (yeah I said it). Their offense is also pretty potent with Rollins, Howard, and MVP Chase Utley. Its tought not to like the Phillies in this posteason, much less this series. Plus they really fucked the Mets again this year, which is always a plus in my book.

Prediction: Phillies in 4. The Brewers will get a CC win.

Chicago (Fags) and Devil Rays.

Fuck the White Sox, thats why. I've stuck with the Rays since February. No reason to stop now.

Prediction: Devil Rays in 3.

Los Angeles of Anaheim and Boston

This is the toughest series for me to predict. I mean the Angels won 100 games but they haven't been tested really all season. Their division has been a joke the past few years. The Red Sox managed to get into the playoffs from the AL East despite trading Manny and battling (steroid related) injuries all season. I really want to pick the Angels here based on pure statistical reason, but I'm going to go with the Red Sox. They have the pedigree and they beat this same team (sans Torii Hunter) last year. The only real question the Red Sox face is their starting rotation. Does Paul Byrd have enough magic to beat another potent lineup? I'm giving the Teixiera/Hunter version of the Angels full respect here but...

Prediction: Red Sox in 5.

Well those are my divisional picks this postseason. I mean it's worthless for me to engage in an in-depth analysis of potential matchups because all these picks could be wrong (doubt it). I'll do a Championship Series prediction when that bridge needs to be crossed (assuming I have any credibility left). However, I will make further predictions right now for the rest of the postseason:

NLCS: Phillies over Dodgers in 6.

ALCS: Rays over Red Sox in 7.

World Series: Rays over Phillies in 5.

Yes, I am predicting the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays as 2008 Fall Classic champions. If I'm wrong, who cares? If I'm right, I'm a fucking genius.