Teams I Love to Hate

I was walking around New York City today enjoying the sun blocked view of skyscrapers and extra hot chicks, when I saw a contingent of pasty white freckled kids wearing Red Sox gear approaching. Obviously I was toting my Indians cap and feared being outnumbered by 6 Masshole gingers with nothing better to do than kill a minority or two in the name of Red Sox nation. So I kept walking, and one of them stops me and says, "Hay, good ghame lahst noyht." This was after the extra innings debacle that the Indians managed to win. So we exchanged pleasantries and went or separate ways. This doesn't change the fact that I still hate the Red Sox and most of their goddamn fans.

Yankees:

This one is legitimate hate. It isn't really even for the team either. Although, Posada and A-Rod can each eat a huge dick and go to hell. The fans are what really get to me. Who the fuck calls scoreboard and "26 championships"? What a bunch of shit. I mean you were alive for, what, like 4 of them? Fuck you and your 26 championships. You are living through the age of exorbitant spending, 14 consecutive playoff appearances, and have a captain who can bang any chick he wants. And you have the nerve to call 'scoreboard' when you lose? HA. Pathetic. This is exponentially worse when people who have no connection to New York are Yankees fans. Hey LeBron...yeah you know what you can eat.

Red Sox:

This is at the level of Yankees hate. They went from loveable underdog to deplorable superpower in about 2 minutes. Yeah I was rooting for them in that ALCS comeback, and yeah, I still love Manny Ramirez. But I hate girls and guys who are part of "Red Sox Nation" only because of that comeback and resulting championship. If your pansy ass couldn't gut it out through the shit, then you have no right to call yourself a fan during the good days. Granted, the fans in Boston are loyal, but its the outsiders that really get to me. They are wannabe Massholes who are obnoxious and try to fit the stereotype of Red Sox fans. This is ridiculous. It's like if people wanted to be like scumbag Italian kids from the Jersey Shore. Who does that? Douchebags.

Chicago White Sox:

AJ Peiewraoe-whatever his fucking last name is. Did you know this guy kneed a trainer in the balls after being hit by a pitch in the nuts? Why, you ask? Because the trainer asked him "How do you feel?" What a fuck. Plus those two hillbillies who ran out and beat up an umpire really do wonders for this team's image.

Ottawa Senators:

I'm relatively new to the hockey scene, but I'll tell you this: I will kill Ray Emery for free. This guys is a class act, let me tell you. Always has a little smirk on his face and always pokes his stick out there to trip the forwards. I mean, how can you like a guy who paints Mike Tyson on his helmet. Actually, that's when you know you probably hate the motherfucker. He's not it though. Daniel Alfredsson looks like a fucking fraggle, and Dany Heatley murdered some poor guy while driving his luxury car at some ridiculous speed and got into a wreck. What a bunch of fucks. If hockey were more popular, the Senators would be reviled.

The New Jersey Nets:

Jason Kidd has a humongous head, Richard Jefferson has fucked up teeth, and Vince Carter is probably everything that is wrong with athletes today. They are all babies and whine at every foul. On top of it all, they don't know how to play defense. Any team that has Mikki Moore playing a significant role and is as cocky as the Nets goes immediately into the fucking hate zone.

The New York Giants:

Eli Manning has the burden of being Peyton Manning's brother. And with that burden comes the Manning hate. But Eli's hateability doesn't just stop there. He passed up the prospect of playing with LT and the Chargers so he could play with the Giants. The Giants at the time were running a platoon at tailback and had no offensive weapons besides shockey. I'm sorry but Ike over the Hill-iard is no Plaxico Burress. And that's not saying much. Pee-Li just obviously wanted the limelight of being in New York. Too bad he can't handle it. Also, kudos to Peyton for playing in a small market and winning. It's a lot better than playing in NY and losing.

The Knicks:

Isiah Thomas. I'll also kill him for free. Enough said.

That's enough rage for now. The Indians are about to play and I have about 15 minutes to get some good karma going.