Wow, these guys are pretty fucking good. I guess we're gonna lose regardless of how well I play, so I might as well take it easy. You know, "get my teammates involved" or whatever. I mean as long as I pass the ball off and they take shots, I still look good right? I mean just because Damon Jones sucks and can't hit open jumpers doesn't mean I'm bad.I mean, I'm Lebron James global superstar. Who cares if Damon Jones has a shoe deal in China, all they know is that I'm the best. They probably don't even know where Cleveland is. Hell I don't even know where that shit is. But I'm allowed to not know these things because I'm the Chosen One. Shit, I guess I should go to the rim now. Oh, three defenders...no problem. I'll just chuck it in the general vicinity of the basket and hopefully it goes in. If not, then at least I'm trying to "take over the game" but am not getting any help from my teammates. If it does, then its a testament to my amazing athleticism. I love when the press fellates me.
Man, this shit is hopeless. Look at the Mavericks, they're so good. I mean they can put like 6 guys out there that can play. Here I am stuck with the rejects. It's like high school all over again and that white kid on our squad was Damon Jones. Damn he sucks. God, how many times is Coach going to put him in when we need defense? Fuck. Ah well, maybe I'll just get another foul and sit on the bench for the rest of the half. Yep, that sounds about right. Wait, I didn't even score a point this half? Ah well, this game was over before it started anyway.
God, I wish I could just simulate this game until the end like in NBA Live. I guess I'll just run around and take off balance jumpers and hope they fall. Hey look, we're making a run. We've cut the lead from 25 to 17. If I tried the lead would probably still be at 10. Good thing I decided to mail this one in. I mean as long as we make the playoffs, they can't blame the fact that this team blows on me, right? Then I can blame management and get the fuck out of here in 2 years. Until then I can stand around, bite my nails, and miss free throws. Sounds like a plan.
I wonder what the postgame spread looks like. Those nachos that fat guy in the front row look great. Mmmm...nachos.
3 comments:
I have King Sucko on my fantasy team. I hate him. He's a regular brick layer. I wish the Cavs could outright cut his overrated ass.
What are The King's thoughts on Charles Barkley?
He probably agrees with Barkley that the Cavs suck and wonders how he could have Chuck's job by the time he's 28.
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