You know, I should be nothing short of ecstatic about the unexpected performance of my beloved Cleveland sports teams in 2007. The Indians were up 3-1 on the Red Sox in the ALCS and almost made it to the Series. The Cavs won the Eastern Conference and almost gave the Spurs a fight in the finals. And whatever the Browns do this weekend, they will have almost done whatever we would have wanted them to do. If that makes any sense, congratulations.
Anyway, the point is almost doesn't mean shit on the shores of Lake Erie. Almost doesn't give us trophies, championship t-shirts, nor much revered bragging rights. It only gives us random surges of rage at what could have been. Trust me, I still curse Jose Mesa without any provocation.
Why couldn't the Indians just win one more game!? They would've been a lock against the Rockies! Even if the validity of that latter statement is questionable, it's the way our logic operates.
If the refs knew what a forward lateral was, the Bills would've been in the Superbowl! I don't agree with Bills fans on this, but I understand where they're coming from.
If Steve Bartman wasn't retarded, the Cubs would have won it all! Fuck him! Seriously? C'mon guys, thats a stretch. And yes, I included the Cubs for the sole reason of insulting Chicago fans.
Where is this rant taking me? Who knows. I think it was a rant about the Browns so let's go with that. The Brownies could have locked up a playoff spot last week with a win at Cincinnati. Obviously Derek Anderson threw 4 picks. Two of those led to Cincy touchdowns in the span of about 45 seconds. The other two were in the in the red zone and end zone. Despite his shittiness, the Browns were still one pass away from winning the game. Whatever. The point is they have to depend on the Titans losing to the Colts' second stringers to make the playoffs. Fuck.
But honestly, we should be happy that the Browns are even in contention to make the playoffs right? I mean they started off the season getting anally penetrated by the hated Steelers. Then they traded their starting quarterback for some skittles and a handjob. The chants of Brady Quinn were silenced by the playmaking of 6'7 Derek Anderson. Yes, the white guy from Oregon not the shooting guard for the Cavs circa 1998. And there were all those kardiac kid moments that led to games won. And just as many games lost. All in all they came out to 9-6 so far with a shot at the playoffs.
If Sunday leads to the expected disappointment, then 2007 will be complete. We'll be disappointed at another Cleveland team which overachieved for once. Because if they made the playoffs this year, they'd have whooped on the Patriots and made the Super Bowl! And maybe thats the way we like it. After eons of disappointment, maybe we're all content with being guarded dreamers because reality bites a little too hard. If the Brownies made playoffs and lost, that fantasy wouldn't exist.
But honestly, fuck that. We want playoffs, not some pussy ass daydream we could talk about around the water cooler. We want to shit on Steelers fans and lynch Steely McBeem. Remember, almost only counts for two things on the great shores of Erie: bocce ball and nukes.
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