This Just In: Eli Manning Is Actually Not a Good Quarterback

By now everyone knows that I have an unnatural but completely rational hatred of the entire Manning family, including the irrelevant Cooper. And this morning during Internet Time at work, I stumbled on to this gem of an article over at Cnn/Si. If you want to waste your life and read it, go ahead. But I'll summarize it for you. Basically, the '04 class of quarterbacks, mainly Rivers, Roethlisberger, and Manning have come into starring roles. Yeah, you read that shit correctly.

Now granted Roethlisberger has a SuperBowl, Rivers has an AFC Championship game and Pro Bowl, and Eli has a trip to the Super Bowl to their respective credits. But seriously? Starring fucking roles? If by starring you mean having the benefit of a superior running game and more than solid defenses. Rivers and Manning are no more than game managers. They are first round Trent Dilfers. All the coaches tell them to do is this: throw short passes underneath, hand the ball off to the sweet half backs, and please don't throw interceptions.

And these bastards can't even do that right. Roethlisberger loves running around trying to make plays and fumbling the ball. Rivers flat out can't throw the ball with anything on it. And Manning loves throwing interceptions when pressured. But they win games! Say their supporters. That doesn't mean they're good quarterbacks. Tom Brady is a good quarterback. Brett Favre, Drew Brees, Tony Romo, and ,yes, Peyton Manning are good quarterbacks. I'll even fucking throw in David Gerrard because he doesn't throw picks and is a playmaker. You know what, I'll even give Roethlisberger the nod. His QB rating and mind boggling scrambling ability marginalizes his shitty decision making.

But seriously, Eli Manning and Philip Rivers are the same player. You can take them out and put any other halfway decent quarterback and their teams would probably end up with the same record. Yeah so Eli Manning has played mistake free during the postseason and the Giants won the NFC (the Not really pro Football Conference). Specifically, Manning played perfectly and the Giants eeked out victories. So basically the Giants rely on Eli Manning to not lose the game. Because if he plays any less than perfect, they're fucked. Most teams, like the Pats, Packers, Cowboys, Browns, Saints, and Colts rely on their quarterbacks to lead their teams to victory. They depend on their QB to win.

Not so much the Giants. Just look at the NFC title game. Favre played like absolute shit but the Packers lost to by a field goal in overtime. Wow, the Packers really fought through a less than typical Favre night and still almost won. On the flip side, Eli threw a nearly perfect game and the Giants only won by a field goal in overtime! And here's some statistical icing for you: Eli Manning has never finished a season with a QB rating higher than 77. This year he was 25th in the NFL and worse than Kyle Boller. Kyle Boller! In fact, over the past three full seasons, Eli hasn't been in the top half of NFL quarterbacks in QB rating.

So everyone relax with the Eli Manning talk. He hasn't broken through anything yet. Until he can have a regular season finishing in the top half of the statistics, he's just another shitty quarterback in the NFL. The only difference is that he's a Manning so he gets the benefit of the doubt. But how much longer are the Giants, who actually have a good team, going to let him hold them down? How much longer can he survive in a big market before ownership and fans realize that the Giants could have probably been in the Super Bowl three years in a row with a better quarterback?