Monday, May 5, 2008

Finest of Mediocrity

This summer I've made it a goal to visit various ballparks on the eastern seaboard. I'm not sure how many I'll actually go to but every time I visit one, there will be a (probably scathing) review. I've already had a chance to attend a Friday night game at Shea. I'll write a full review later, but honestly it could be summed up in one word: shitty.

I had a chance to visit some friends in Washington DC this past weekend. The weather was beautiful and the ladies were looking great (despite my friend's wife's assertion that people in DC were smart and ugly). I drove in on Friday and planned on going to a Nationals game that night. Luckily for us, the Nationals are terrible and tickets weren't going to be that difficult to come by.

Before I get into the specifics of the ballpark, allow me to set the scene a bit. Nationals Park is in an area of DC known as Southeast. It has traditionally been a pretty poor neighborhood and construction of the park here was a blatantly obvious move towards gentrification of the area. Not surprisingly, DC Metro was all over the scene and overall they kept people going to the game from getting lost in the jungle that is our nation's capital.

The best way to get to the park is by taking the Metro and getting off at the Navy Yard stop on the green line. Once you exit the station, just follow the crowd and/or horse mounted police to the stadium's center field entrance. One of the coolest things I noticed at the stadium was the automated ticket machines that were available. You basically just operate it like a ticket machine at a movie theater and use your credit card. Voila! Tickets are printed and you're ready to go. Obviously, the lines to use these were about ten times shorter than the ticket window. The tragic flaw of this approach was that only one credit card could be used to purchase multiple tickets.

Naturally, we wanted cheap tickets so we looked for a scalper. Let me tell you something: there is no more difficult place to find a scalper than at a Washington Nationals game. Seriously. It took about 20 minutes until someone approached us. So he gave us 3 $10 tickets that were upper deck, last row, on first base side. These tickets sucked, but we figured we could just sit anywhere. As a side note, these tickets were season tickets and this guy had about 50 in his hand. Apparently he thought he could make money buying a variety of season tickets, in various sections, and selling them at face value. Obviously he overestimated people's enthusiasm for a new ballpark.

Anyway, we get into the ballpark and it is, well, new. And honestly that is really all I can say about its construction. The park itself has very little personality. It appropriately personifies political correctness in our nation's capital. Architecturally the park is reminiscent of the mid 90's ballparks that were cookie cutter and attempted to recreate the magic of Camden Yards or Jacob's Field. However, there is nothing unique about Nationals Park. Sure, they do a president's run every game where big headed mascots run around the stadium, but who doesn't nowadays? What was more disappointing though, was that the park fails to utilize the DC skyline effectively. You can't see any of the monuments and only a parking garage and sky are visible when looking into the outfield. Even the team shop was pretty forgettable. It was small with absolutely no variety of apparel whatsoever. To the park's credit, they do have a games area with Playstation3, speed pitch, and batting cage as well as a bar in center field that has standing room.

The food is a different story however. There is a variety of delectables ranging from Hebrew National quarter pound hot dogs to Five Guys Burgers and Fries, a DC staple. Obviously everything was pricey (the cotton candy was $10!). The chili dogs were very good as was the variety of ice cream. And yes, the ice cream was served in mini-helmets. Nationals Park also did a service to humanity in general by providing dispensers of "brown mustard" (known colloquially to Midwesterners as Stadium Mustard).

Overall, the park was a disappointment. Being the newest addition to the MLB family of ballparks, Nationals Park had very little to offer outside of the standard ballpark fare. The construction was spartan and amenities were almost non-existent. However, if you live in the DC area and want to enjoy a ballgame, its not that bad. There are virtually no lines and the crowd is pretty good natured as to how bad the Nationals are. So if you want to get wasted and act like a complete asshole, Nationals Park is for you!

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