Monday, December 31, 2007

Sorry '72 Dolphins, Your Yolk is Over

Holy shit. Am I glad I don't have to listen to the stories of the goddamn '72 Miami Dolphins anymore. It's about time those old bastards shut the fuck up. If there is anything positive about the 2007 Patriots, its that they really stole the perfection spotlight.

They ran the table on the defending Super Bowl champion Colts and every division leader the played including Dallas, Pittsburgh (crushed), and San Diego. Additionally, half their schedule (including the 10-6 Browns) consisted of playoff teams. Honestly, I don't know who the '72 Dolphins played in their 14 game season. But what I do know is that no team had a better record than 8-6. And further, I'm pretty sure that only two teams were at 8-6.

Now the icing on the cake - yes, I'm talking about statistics! The Pats had a +315 point differential this year! Seriously. That is more points than 11 NFL teams managed to put up the entire season! That differential is 100 points more than the Dolphins. If we took the averages, the '72 team would have had a 70 point differential deficit to the Pats in a 16 game season. Thats two 35 point shutouts for you mathematically disadvantaged youth of America.

So eat it, Shula. Don't produce comments your wife makes you apologize for less than 24 hours after the fact. The '07 Pats could've seriously ended your team's life. Madden '08 says so. And that's as good as the words of Steve Young.

Now, don't get me wrong, I agree that the Patriots still have to win the whole thing to be considered the greatest. That's usually how these things work (I'm looking at you 2001 Seattle Mariners). But if they do, they will have gotten through one of the toughest schedules in recent memory. And look at the playoff teams. Not including the shitty Titans, there are absolutely no cakewalks for the Pats. They'll most likely have to get through the Colts on their way to Green Bay in the Super Bowl. Personally, I'd be more frightened of the Jaguars if I were a Masshole.

So the kicker of the '72 Dolphins can shut his mouth. There won't be any champagne popping from those senile bastards anymore. Thank you Tom Brady and Randy Moss. Thank you for ending this farce of a reign we'd had to put up with for what seems like eternity. Now if only someone can stop the Celtics.

2 comments:

Rocky Top said...

You, like, totally want to have Tom Brady's babies. And stuff.

Average at Best said...

i mean, have you seen that picture of him?