Your Degree is Worthless Because of that Shirt

I have a long standing love hate relationship with this time of year. The time around the New Year is full of drunken celebration and hopefully a random hookup that leads the girl to her first decision of the year being a regret. It's also the time of year where the NFL regular season is ending in all its glory and crazy playoff scenarios happen (fuck you Titans). Thats the love part.

But nobody wants to hear about love here, its all about hate. I hate this time of year because of the retarded sport known as Division I college football. Now I know the realpolitik of the situation and how there's too much money to be lost in converting this bullshit into a playoff system, but that doesn't stop me from bitching about how terrible it is. And it won't stop me from making the statement that die hard college football fans probably don't deserve their degree.

Honestly, how can any educated person believe in a system that is completely arbitrary? Just because you have some fancy computer program to calculate strength of schedule doesn't make it fair or logical. And having the computer take into account the press and coaching rankings really just seals the deal on any sort of legitimacy these rankings had. And the worst part about the whole thing is that people spend thousands of dollars to go and watch these postseason games that don't mean shit. Hell I'll drop three grand to see my team in the Superbowl because if they win, nobody can bitch about it.

It just seems like every year college football follows the same idiotic pattern and comes up with the same inevitable result: bullshit. There's no real champion at the end of the season. Its just a team that was voted by some people in a room to play in the national championship game based on criteria that Descartes couldn't even figure out.

Hey dipshits, how about a playoff system? Oh wait, the students have finals that month?!? Really? That's absolutely terrible. All the other divisions have a playoff system and it works flawlessly. Furthermore, those kids are more likely to be concerned with their academics (B-Rad Division III Academic All American @ DE is now an attorney, Maurice Clarett is in jail) than some prima donna wide receiver at Florida State. You're telling me that Vince Young and Matt Leinart couldn't play in December because of finals? I'm sure Peter Warrick really worried about his stats final in between catching TD passes and robbing Macy's.

And you know who we really have to blame for this atrocity? The "educated" youth of America and shitbag alums who pay top dollar to propagate this sham. Sure I've done my share of kegs and eggs and sure it was a great time. But I wasn't tricked into putting my heart, soul, and wallet into some farcical system in the name of school spirit or some shit. This is America people. We should demand a clear cut winner, not some pansy ass Communist way of selecting winners. College football blows. There's only one way to fix it, and everyone knows how. Too bad nobody wants to do anything about it. Fucking college kids.