The Third Quarter

AFC EAST
Jets 8-4 [9-7]
Patriots 7-5 [11-5]
Dolphins 7-5 [6-10]
Bills 6-6 [10-6]

If you notice the above picture the Bills retro logo actually has a buffalo penis. The logo brazenly exposes a fat buffalo cock. Unfortunately, the real Buffalo Bills have no balls. Dick Jauron may be an ivy leaguer. He really may be dead though. Not only does he look like a skeleton, but he shows no emotion, cannot manage time-outs, and insists on allowing offensive coordinator Turk Schonert to run when he should pass, and pass when he should run. I can't believe how this season has turned out, and even a hopeful fan like me is having a hard time looking forward to the draft next year. As for the rest of the division, I hate them all, and do not want to talk about them.


AFC NORTH
Steelers 9-3 [7-9]
Ravens 8-4 [4-12]
Browns 4-8 [8-8]
Bengals 1-10-1 [6-10]

See that Browns retro logo? That guy is smiling, but he is obviously infected with staph. As were my predictions for this division. I really had no idea how good the Steelers defense was. I also would have never guessed that Joe Flacco would be as good as he is. Guys like Terrell Suggs who openly lobbied for Troy Smith are hopefully apologizing to Flacco. It should be interesting to see what happens in Cleveland though, this division suddenly gets much more interesting next year if Bill Cowher shows up in Cleveland.

AFC SOUTH
Titans 11-1 [7-9]
Colts 8-4 [8-8]
Texans 5-7 [10-6]
Jaguars 4-8 [13-3]

The Colts seriously are not good. They should legitimately be 4-8. They should have lost both Texans games (Blast you Sage Rosenfels!), the Vikings game, and even the Browns game. I have to give the Colts credit though for winning these games that they should not be winning. It is the sign of superior coaching and a team that just knows how to win. That may sound cliche, but it is absolutely true. Teams new to winning often can't get over the hump because you really do need to learn how to win. That is why if the Colts will be an extremely tough out in the playoffs (hopefully they don't make it).

AFC WEST
Broncos 7-5 [7-9]
Chargers 4-8 [11-5]
Raiders 3-9 [7-9]
Chiefs 2-10 [4-12]

That's Tom Cable to the right. Hmmm...interesting right? What a horrible division. I don't care that the Broncos beat the Jets their defense is horrible. Any team that gets blown out by that guy ---> does not deserve to make the playoffs. Ever. The Chargers, along with the Jags are shocking failures. Was Shawn "I love steroids" Merriman really that valuable?

PLAYOFF TEAMS: If the playoffs started today I would hit on ZERO, yes that's right ZERO out of six. I thought I was so much better than those assholes on ESPN, but I'm sure they have at least one.

NFC EAST
Giants 11-1 [8-8]
Cowboys 8-4 [12-4]
Redskins 7-5 [11-5]
Eagles 6-5-1 [12-4]

A good division to be sure, but obviously not as good as I thought they would be. The NFC South has turned out to be the best division. The Cowboys are an interesting team to watch in the final quarter as they really can afford to lose only one game the rest of the season if they plan on making the playoffs.

NFC NORTH
Vikings 7-5 [10-6]
Bears 6-6 [5-11]
Packers 5-7 [7-9]
Lions 0-12 [4-12]

Poor Detroit Lions fans. The closest the Lions are going to get to the Super Bowl is old school Tecmo with Barry Sanders, or if you cheat on Madden. This division is still very much up for grabs with the NFL announcing Kevin and Pat Williams' suspensions today. Though the top three teams are mediocre it should still make for some compelling games.

NFC SOUTH
Buccaneers 9-3 [8-8]
Panthers 9-3 [7-9]
Falcons 8-4 [9-7]
Saints 6-6 [8-8]

The NFC South looks like the best division in football. ESPN and the rest of the mainstream media still loves the NFC East, but all the NFC South teams are tough. The Panthers win close games, the Bucs are led by a core of old guys with some youngsters, and hot cheerleaders, the Falcons have the rookie QB and are playing beyond all expectations, and the Saints have a puncher's chance in every game they play with an awesome offense. I obviously did not see this division playing so well. I've definitely become a fan though and would be overjoyed to see three NFC South teams make the playoffs, especially if it means that the Cowboys don't make it.

NFC WEST
Cardinals 7-5 [10-6]
49ers 4-8 [3-13]
Seahawks 2-10 [9-7]
Rams 2-10 [3-13]

I don't have much to say about the NFC West. The Cardinals look good one week, and bad the next. The Seahawks have been decimated by injuries no one could have seen coming. Though Mike Holmgren looks like a walrus he deserved a better final season in Seattle than this.

NFC PLAYOFFS- If the playoffs started today I would hit 3 of 6, that's not too shabby, and I will hang my hat on the Falcons pick.