Oh I'm getting in on these playoff predictions. I mean, I predicted the Devil Rays! Yes, its a different sport but still...so awesome. Anyway here they are.
Colts (fags) over Chargers (bigger fags)
What a shitfest of a game to pick. These teams should have been left for dead about 6 weeks ago but somehow managed to make the playoffs in the AFC. I'm going with the Colts on this one because the Charger's pass defense is sluttier than a Wall Street whore during a recession (topical humor!). I can see Peyton Manning having a day on this secondary and Reggie Wayne putting up some big numbers. Don't underestimate the Colts, they still have the weapons to be dangerous...except in cold weather climes. Pussies.
Stabbers over Tunas
Yeah I hate the Ravens, but their defense is way too good to count out. The Dolphins have some speed on their offense but that gimmick wildcat won't fool Rex Ryan and the Raven's drug enhanced defense. I don't see Chad Pennington as a quarterback who can beat the Ravens. On the same thought process I'm not sure Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown are hard nosed enough to beat the Ravens' linebacker corps made of Uru-kai Orcs. Was that a racial insult? You decide.
Angry Fat People over Laid Back Fat People
I have no idea why I'm making this pick but it probably has something to do with the fact that the Vikings are starting Tarvaris Jackson against a good Eagles defense. They do have Adrian Peterson on the field, but there's only so much that he can do. The Vikings have a pretty good defense of their own but McNabb, Westbrook, and company have been playing inspired ball ever since Reid benched McNabb a few weeks back. This game will probably be a close affair but the Eagles should pull it out. Watch out Giants, these guys are real and you guys are overrated.
Dog Fighters over Best of the Worst
Matt Ryan and the dirty birds will continue their impressive run against Kurt Warner and the blowout birds of Arizona. Sure the Cards are division winners but when you consider the fact that they won the worst division in the history of the NFL, it becomes less impressive. Celebrate all you will Cardinals fans, the division still sucks. The Cardinals' defense is terrible and they won't be able to stop Michael Turner on the ground. This game probably will be a shootout, but I see the Falcons making more stops than the Cardinals.
Lets see how these football predictions go. I think my darlings will be the hated Eagles. Only because I hate the Giants and Steelers more and they have endeared me to their weekly inconsistency and Desean Jackson shenanigans.
Colts (fags) over Chargers (bigger fags)
What a shitfest of a game to pick. These teams should have been left for dead about 6 weeks ago but somehow managed to make the playoffs in the AFC. I'm going with the Colts on this one because the Charger's pass defense is sluttier than a Wall Street whore during a recession (topical humor!). I can see Peyton Manning having a day on this secondary and Reggie Wayne putting up some big numbers. Don't underestimate the Colts, they still have the weapons to be dangerous...except in cold weather climes. Pussies.
Stabbers over Tunas
Yeah I hate the Ravens, but their defense is way too good to count out. The Dolphins have some speed on their offense but that gimmick wildcat won't fool Rex Ryan and the Raven's drug enhanced defense. I don't see Chad Pennington as a quarterback who can beat the Ravens. On the same thought process I'm not sure Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown are hard nosed enough to beat the Ravens' linebacker corps made of Uru-kai Orcs. Was that a racial insult? You decide.
Angry Fat People over Laid Back Fat People
I have no idea why I'm making this pick but it probably has something to do with the fact that the Vikings are starting Tarvaris Jackson against a good Eagles defense. They do have Adrian Peterson on the field, but there's only so much that he can do. The Vikings have a pretty good defense of their own but McNabb, Westbrook, and company have been playing inspired ball ever since Reid benched McNabb a few weeks back. This game will probably be a close affair but the Eagles should pull it out. Watch out Giants, these guys are real and you guys are overrated.
Dog Fighters over Best of the Worst
Matt Ryan and the dirty birds will continue their impressive run against Kurt Warner and the blowout birds of Arizona. Sure the Cards are division winners but when you consider the fact that they won the worst division in the history of the NFL, it becomes less impressive. Celebrate all you will Cardinals fans, the division still sucks. The Cardinals' defense is terrible and they won't be able to stop Michael Turner on the ground. This game probably will be a shootout, but I see the Falcons making more stops than the Cardinals.
Lets see how these football predictions go. I think my darlings will be the hated Eagles. Only because I hate the Giants and Steelers more and they have endeared me to their weekly inconsistency and Desean Jackson shenanigans.
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